By Jaimz Dillman
Babysitting takes a supernatural and super messy turn in director Daniel Turres' (Fresh Meat) latest film, HERE FOR BLOOD.
I did my fair share of small side jobs to make ends meet growing up. However, I never did have the adventure amateur wrestler, Tom O'Bannon (Shawn Roberts), and his girlfriend, Phoebe (Joelle Farrow) have with their little tyke Grace (Maya Misaljevic).
Roberts' big tough exterior makes for a non-traditional choice to take over babysitting duties from super busy - and broke - girlfriend, Phoebe. But it's okay because he's not a creep - at least that's what he says, so you have to believe him, right? Turns out, Roberts' Tom is a big teddy bear and he's sweet helping out his girlfriend until she can take over. As for Grace, she seems like a sweet video-game-playing kid. So, all's well, right? Nope.
Once the story setup is established and Tom and Grace are settling in for a quiet Friday night, things start to get squirrelly. Strange noises start coming from the attic followed by scary masked men who appear in an attempt to kidnap Grace. This prepares Tom to start ass-kicking as he tries to figure out why they've been targeted. After Phoebe and their friends arrive they join Tom and Grace in their fight as more masked wrestlers invade.
We quickly learn that these masked men are part of a cult who are trying to take Grace as a sacrifice to their almighty deity. I won't spoil anything, but the twist comes with finding out who - and why - the whole ordeal was orchestrated. But, please don't expect it to make sense. That's not what you're here for. Remember the title.
What follows is murder, blood, attempted kidnapping, blood, stabbing, blood, ritual sacrifices, blood - did I mention blood? The Butcher Shop Company is responsible for the makeup and effects behind all the gore and they deliver. Big time. A kitchen stove almost becomes another character that's used several times to thwart, and sear, the bad guys. I don't envy the production team's cleanup on this set.
The standout performance goes to Misaljevic who gives a convincing performance as a young Grace, especially considering how messed up the situation is that she finds herself in. Though, I don't know how she avoided getting any blood on her. At all.
Phoebe and her friends are pretty forgettable characters and seem to be added just to raise the body count. Although, Mike (Kelly Pinner) gives us some pretty good zombie service. Tom is likable enough but the rest of the cast comes across on a community theater level. A fun cameo is made by Dee Snyder (heard but not seen) and the fight scenes are Royal Rumble-inspired and are truly good fun.
This isn't a film that'll be talked about during awards season. This is a glorious, lazy-day movie for gore lovers and fans of straight-to-video acting. With plenty of repeatable one-liners, your life won't be changed by HERE FOR BLOOD but you may enjoy the camp and silliness for a couple hours. Just don't forget to feed the head.
HERE FOR BLOOD is available to stream on Screambox.
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